The universe has become so rife with bend

The universe has become so rife with bend and arc, I think we can't depend on parallel lines not intersecting for much longer, did you see that bend in the moon's orbit last month?

It was pick-up line I used at most astrophysics conventions. She peered at me over her horn-rimmed glasses and Blue Curcao Martini. She replied, "The curvature of orbits must be

somewhat disturbing for someone so straitlaced as you, she said fluently in a language she must have surmised would be one I understood, as she traced my hidden banks with her

forensic accountant

who specialized in juvenile cases. "Where'd you get those 5 bucks?" he interrogated. "Allowance." He pressed on, "Are you sure you didn't sell capri suns as individual retail?"

"No, I'm saving that charge for blackmail on my whoring beau." He punched his palm, becoming distracted from my queries: "Uh, anyways, who gave you the fiver allowance? Mom? Dad?"

let out a squeal of horror, "No!!!!!" I couldn't help but laugh, kids are so clueless these days..."Yeah, Momdads are pretty common thing nowadays" My brother sat dumbstruck

which was his natural condition after the unfortunate incident with the Tijuana mule. I slapped him upside the head to indicate a refill was needed. But the Momdad saw this and did

n't think it was funny. I remember seeing stars and some squiggly circles, but then nothing. I woke up in a Mexican jail, feeling like such an ass.