So she switched off the lights. Yep, she

So she switched off the lights. Yep, she was trapped in an old Hollywood movie. How did she know? Because the darkness wasn't really dark. It was sort of a dark blue and you could

tell it had been colorized, even though the scene would have looked in grayscale. Our sparkling heroine bumped against the icebox and screamed. She wasn't from then! She had stu

the poet, who used all lower-case in the vein of e.e. cummings, trimming her toenails with his teeth! She screamed again. "whassa matta?" asked stu the poet, spitting toenail bits

out. "is your face the face that burnt the topless towers of ilium?" " No it's not. I just want to have some punctuation in my life," she answered. stu the poet flung her foot away

stu was suddenly lucid. "I didn't think you'd go so far as to throw me out of the flat. You know I have issues." "We all have issues, Stu, & right now you're my issue. Our issue."

Stu looked down at his swollen, distended stomach. "How could you do this? We were supposed to start a family! Where do you expect me to go?" Stu wept softly, as the door was shut.

She watched through the security peephole as Stu kicked all of her potted plants off the porch before limping pathetically away. (One of them had been in an iron pot.) She felt bad

For the pots, that iron one looked like it was dented, and decided she would dent Stu. Grabbing her shotgun off of the mantlepiece, she slams the door open and begins down the hall

, bound & determined that Stu was gonna learn his lesson or... "SURPRISE!" Everyone jumped out of their hiding places & Stu was carrying a big pink birthday cake. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"