Her life started like any other, she was

Her life started like any other, she was born in a hospital. Her older sister waiting anticipating the arrival of her younger sibling. Then finally the anticipation was paid off.

To the tune of $100,000 and a "Baby Off Board" sticker, the typical haul for a surrogate birth. Her would-be sister handed baby Amy to her new family and did a make-it-rain gesture

Sure enough She began to cry tears of joy. The sweet little bundle of joy in her arms squirmed and cooed. Baby Amy's tiny eyes opened and she grabbed a handful of hair.

Baby Amy had an unexpectedly strong grip for an infant, and managed to tear a clump of hair out of her scalp. Now she began to cry tears of pain. Baby Amy nearly did it again, but

Faces in the crowd set in stone. A lifetime of continued silence followed. Until finally, emerged a

n awkward cough followed by a question of utmost importance. "So...Why did the chicken cross the road?" the voice rang over the stony faces of the crowd, and echoed into oblivion.

The audience went silent for five minutes. The Great Watch In The Sky timed it as 5:02:44. Salvador Dali was holding it anxiously. The voice repeated the question after nobody

dared say a word. Finally, one guy sitting in the back raised his hand. "Uh, does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody care?" Salvador Dali gripped The Great Watch

and folded it up like a great big floppy pancake, then poured on maple syrup. "Simultaneity is relative to the observer's reference frame. Only your capitalist overlords care."