Grandpa's newest invention was "Water proof

Grandpa's newest invention was "Water proof coveralls" . The neat part was watching them fill up like a balloon every time Grandpa farted. Then his beard would fluff up when the

fumes were ejected out the front of the coveralls when he sat down. Amazingly, gramps'd still deny everything, even when all visual, auditory, and olfactory evidence pointed at his

crotchety old crotch. "Whaaa?" he said. "Ya don't want me to get sick, do ya?" Gramps was also hard of hearing, so he didn't know that we started calling him Ol' Man Fart.

But Old Gramps got his revenge on us, the old fashioned way, he earned it. His balls had been bed-whipped and they were disgusting. What he did was

truly appalling; such a scent has burned its way to the most vulnerable parts of my soul.

Okay seriously though it smelled like shit. I decided it was time. Time to summon the lord himself, Mr. Clean.

A great, lemony-fresh mushroom cloud appeared and from it emerged Mr. Clean. "I don't do toilets," Mr. Clean announced haughtily, "now that I've been made a lord." "You disgust me,

But I still follow your methods of cleaning out all the remnants of commercial industrial ponds of goo." Mr. Clean laughed. "I remember that. The janitors do it now. Times change!"

by one until his voice began squeaking like sweaty leather shoe,