She stumbled over the wire. Her mind screeched

She stumbled over the wire. Her mind screeched with panic but on the outside all was quiet. Did this mean her team had succeeded in disabling the alarm? She continued

but failed to notice the edge of her dress was caught in the wire. There was a loud ripping noise and the alarm went off. Her team came running round the corner to see Kate in only

her nipple coverings and a fake leaf she used to cover up her genitalia. The men stared for a moment, but then noticed the torn dress lying at her feet. "Damn stray wires." Kate

whimpered. Among the dumbstruck men, only Lloyd hobbled to her rescue, bringing Bactine to disinfect her wounds. As he bent to pick up her torn dress, he tripped over a log and

Pan that Guy Fieri pulled out of the oven. It smelled like a rancid, pickled elephant fetus. Guy said, "Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too."

My 4 year held his nose. "I'm not eating this shit." I said "Young man you watch your mouth! You'll eat whats on the table. Err Whats on the table?" Guy Fieri smiled. "Walla, Eleph

harbunckle sicki ee ee yippitu!" he screeched. I was agape. What weird language had Guy just invoked? My son catapulted a load of peas at him with a spoon. A forked tongue zipped

from Guy's mouth & neatly impaled all the flying peas. He withdrew his tongue, puckered & sent a fusillade of peas back at us, blasting my son's head to a sponge-like consistency.

"I warned you, son!" I shouted over the screaming and carnage of pea warfare. "I warned you to eat your damned peas! Just FRICKING EAT THEM NEXT TIME!" I survived a gut shot.