My biology teacher said looking at the toilet

My biology teacher said looking at the toilet after you've done your business is genetic, as it's an ancient way of detecting disease. That's how I found out I had

no such genes. The idea of taking such a backward glance was revolting to me. If my bio teacher was worried, he was welcome to take a look, I said, helpfully. He gave me detention

. My smart ass mouth was always getting me in trouble. I had no control over my mouth. Somehow I managed to get through high school, but when I joined the convent, it became an iss

ue because I was being a smartass all through convent boot camp. When Mother Superior told me to drop and giver her 20 I said, "Can you drop and give me change for a 100?"

"Shut yo mouth, motherf*cker!" Mother Superior screamed & punched me in the head. Then she gasped & put 2 fingers to her lips. "You...YOU little demon! You made me say a bad word!"

Of course, nothing works out as planned on paper. Mother Superior called in the Spanish Inquisition to sort out my religious doubts. They tied me to a stake and piled combustible

As Russian tomatoes refused to allow Mother Superior to throw them at me. They stayed together in the garden in the back. "Hell no, we won't go!", they shouted in unison.

All except Alexei, who had been to seminary. He began to sing an old Orthodox hymn, and the other young tomatoes joined in. Mother Superior was nonplussed. Had I been rescued?

I feel the ancient words of that hymn answered my question for me. It continued: "-that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen! She can dance, she can fly, having the-"