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Why do you say you didn't eat my tahini when

  • Why do you say you didn't eat my tahini when I can clearly see some there at the corner of your mouth?

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  • "Because if you're with an ugly loser like me, you must be blind." "I am blind, Roger. Blind with LOVE." My third-wheeling friend, Doug, barfed. "Ugh, there. There's some tahini

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  • you can use to mop up," I muttered while staring into Roger's eyes. I was so blind with love that my Shitzu had to guide me out the cafe. So blind, I didn't notice Roger & Doug go

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  • to the dumpster together holding hands. I didn't care, my love for Roger was deeper than the ocean, higher than the mountains! He WILL love me, he WILL forget about Doug! I needed

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  • to tell Doug's wife about Roger. Yes! Then she would murder Doug and Roger would be mine forever!!! I called my sky-writing friend immediately to have him get up in the air and

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  • like hang out with Kevin Bacon in the Air Up There. My friend had a great time with Kevin Bacon swapping stories about craft services, then he asked me, "What about Doug and Roger?

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  • Don't they like Kevin Bacon?" "No, my friend." I said, pulling out a cigarrette. "Everyone hates Kevin Bacon." I lit my cig and puffed it, before shoving it into the eye of

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  • The tiger, who batted me with his huge paws. His paws measured 4069cm. Mine were just 200. His roar was sometimes worse than his bite, but this was not one of those days. I ran for

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  • the phone and called Clifford the Big Red Dog, who came right away by Greyhound bus. Clifford shook the tiger like it was a rag doll and it limped away, still snarling. "Who's a

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  • head in the space race?" "Russia!" Barked Clifford. Some of his closest friends were comsodogs, and he was fiercely protective of them. Aren't we all though?

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