Roger Corman wondered how to top himself.

  • Roger Corman wondered how to top himself. "How about Sharktopus vs. Dinocroc." Nah.. I need something new.. or old? Frankopus? Yes! Dr. Frankensteins greatgrandson is a marine biol

  • ab. The body was melted down to its minutest biologic parts, mixed with a plastic polymer and hardened. Corman cried. He'd lost it. Then John Peters called and said,

  • "Have you got that melted down body I ordered? These mixed drinks are getting weirder all the time." Corman sniffled. "I...I don't, sir. I've mislaid it somewhere and I can't

  • find the tracking info from UPS. I knew I was screwed. My first task on day 1 was to order the melted down body, & I was so psyched that Amazon even had them. "Sir, I can get u

  • a fresh pot of Earl Grey tea from the kitchen." He wasn't falling for my stalling tactics. I'd just have contact Amazon and

  • reorder everything again & pay the extra for same day delivery. Frustrated, I pretended to accidently pour the steaming hot Earl Grey in his lap when he held up his teacup. "I am

  • the lord of Earl Grey!" he stated proudly. Suddenly, a pea shooter walked into the beautiful building and fired one shot at his cup.

  • The skillful peashooter managed to completely shatter the cup with just one shot, sending hot tea flying everywhere.

  • "Ha, Starbucks, let's see you top that!" Calmly, Starbucks eased over to the shattered cup, and its pitiful remnant of delicious tea. "I could, but it'd be a waste," Starbucks de

  • claimed, but deep down, he knew he wasn't capable. He clenched his fists and imagined a parallel universe where he was capable, where reality got along with expectations. He cried.



  1. Zetawilk May 31 2013 @ 23:55

    Mothers, don't let your B-movie directors grow up to be mixologists.

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