"Cold turkey works for fetishes but you have

"Cold turkey works for fetishes but you have an obsession", said Dr. Ruth. "You can start by sleeping two nights a week with this inflatable duck." I turned to my inflatable wife

and told her I want an inflatable divorce. She slapped me with her inflatable hand and said, "My inflatable mother was right!" She was sitting on the heater so her lower half melte

taxi, only a little of my air escaping from my hole. "Where to?" the taxi driver asked. "To the beach!" I cried joyfully. Where else would an inflatable man want to go? Wheeeee!!!

It was a grand spectacle but the cool coastal breeze coupled with my hole's slow leak meant I was losing valuable PSI. I said "Help, a little air here please!" But they thought I

said "hair" and gave me a funny look. One of them wandered over and gave my long pony tail a sharp little yank. "Yeouch," I cried thru the regulator, "What are you trying to pull?"

Their otherworld voices squeeked commands as they pushed and prodded and explored my translucent rainbow body. Had they not seen anything like me before? My head where the ponytail

protruded from was soft and squishy, but multicolor light was radiating from each strand of hair, and it seemed that they were having difficulty diverting their attention from it.

They stood, enraptured, slowly turning to dust-shrouded skeletons tended to by glittering orb weavers who rose and fell in the limpid darkness. Their old silk absorbed the spectra,

and all I could do was stare at my hands and watch the skin fade away, leaving me a dust-shrouded skeleton as well. If only I'd paid more attention in school!