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"Cold turkey works for fetishes but you have

  • "Cold turkey works for fetishes but you have an obsession", said Dr. Ruth. "You can start by sleeping two nights a week with this inflatable duck." I turned to my inflatable wife

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  • and told her I want an inflatable divorce. She slapped me with her inflatable hand and said, "My inflatable mother was right!" She was sitting on the heater so her lower half melte

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  • d quickly into a big inflatable wife-puddle on the floor. I was a free inflatable man! Mad with glee, I ran from her yelling inflatable head and jumped quickly into a passing

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  • taxi, only a little of my air escaping from my hole. "Where to?" the taxi driver asked. "To the beach!" I cried joyfully. Where else would an inflatable man want to go? Wheeeee!!!

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  • It was a grand spectacle but the cool coastal breeze coupled with my hole's slow leak meant I was losing valuable PSI. I said "Help, a little air here please!" But they thought I

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  • said "hair" and gave me a funny look. One of them wandered over and gave my long pony tail a sharp little yank. "Yeouch," I cried thru the regulator, "What are you trying to pull?"

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  • Their otherworld voices squeeked commands as they pushed and prodded and explored my translucent rainbow body. Had they not seen anything like me before? My head where the ponytail

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  • protruded from was soft and squishy, but multicolor light was radiating from each strand of hair, and it seemed that they were having difficulty diverting their attention from it.

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  • They stood, enraptured, slowly turning to dust-shrouded skeletons tended to by glittering orb weavers who rose and fell in the limpid darkness. Their old silk absorbed the spectra,

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  • and all I could do was stare at my hands and watch the skin fade away, leaving me a dust-shrouded skeleton as well. If only I'd paid more attention in school!

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