The answer? Mustard seed. The Question?

The answer? Mustard seed. The Question?

What is the secret ingredient for a nitrogen bomb strong enough to blow up my mother-in-law? "Oh that's right" Where could i find mustard seed I wondered? And then I remembered

Trader Joe's has a large spice section. "Now, a recipe." I looked on allrecipes.com. It recommended "Gluten-free Nitrogen Soufflé" for its destructive radius. My mother-in-law was

also highly destructive, but after due consideration I elected to go with the soufflé. It proved difficult to get the timing right, and I detonated at least five by mistake before

and her eyes went wide. She pulled back from me. I could see now she was squinting and a few tears were making their way down her cheeks. She smelled it. I could smell it. Foul.

The ref blew his whistle and flamboyantly presented me with a yellow card. Who knew that onion-inspired halitosis was a punishable offense? Disillusioned, I removed my cleats and

sat on the bench. As I watched the game, now a powerless spectator, my imagination ran wild. I came up with a whopping 179 ways to kill the referee. The first three were simple of

ten proposed methods involving baseball bats or hockey sticks. I elaborated with viper pits behind home plate & tippy tennis referee chairs. When I published "Referee reloaded"

Oprah accused me of falsifying my memoirs and declared free chicken for everyone but me. So I sicced my bats to hurl baseballs at her until she learned her lesson. Free chicken!