Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerous

  • Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerous ways, Lord Sandwich. Your sad devotion to that ancient Jedi religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given

  • you clairvoyance to find the rebel's hidden Subway factory". Admiral Panini choked on a large chunk of Ciabatta. "I find your lack of faith disurbing" said Lord Sandwich

  • who raised his black-gloved hand. The waiter came. "Dessert?" Lord Sandwich replied, "Only just desserts. Take Adm Panini to have his suit pressed. I'd like to raise a toast."

  • Mr. Toast became nervous, but Lord Sandwich raised his glass and everybody followed "What shall we toast to my Lord?" Asked General Kebab, "We shall toast to this wonderful meeting

  • of culinary diplomacy!" Gen. Kebab turned to Minister Salad, "Do you not agree?" Salad scowled, "It remains to be seen whether such a alliance can drive off the Condiment Coalition

  • ." Gen. Kebab and the Meats hated Minister Salad & his Veggies. But they could not ignore the threat posed when Sgt. Relish unnaturally merged forces with Col. Mayo on 1000 Island.

  • Sgt. Relish and Col. Mayo dominated the U.S. & Canada w/ blue & purple cavalry & artillery. Gen. Kabab had a few infantry in Europe and four Risk cards. Minister Salad had the rest

  • of the world covered. He looked as his competitors, smirked, and suddenly slammed a sack of potatoes onto the table, sending the pieces everywhere. "RISK is for bitches!" he said,

  • "and Halo is for losers"! He was attacked faster than a speeding bullet. Fists and potatoes were flying and his face was the main event, he would never back down to these

  • angry meme-loving elitist nerds and their generic FPS games. But alas, the war for truth is an uphill battle, and sympathy is a commodity long lost. "More like SPUD missiles!"



  1. BlastedHeath Apr 21 2012 @ 19:36

    "Well, that was a sumptuous meal, wasn't it?"

  2. 49erFaithful Dec 07 2013 @ 14:53

    Attempted a reading of this story here: https://www.mediafire.com/?xoqee4iwqeqfpr4 Cheers, 49erFaithful

  3. KieferSkunk Dec 07 2013 @ 15:05

    Niiiice. :) The Imperial March in the background was a nice touch.

  4. MoralEnd Dec 07 2013 @ 15:29

    AWESOME! Sinister with all the fixin's.

  5. 49erFaithful Dec 07 2013 @ 16:25

    Thanks guys. The story is ripe for more sound effects but the background track was about all I could muster. Good fun on a rainy day.

  6. SlimWhitman Dec 07 2013 @ 17:49

    Agreed, plenty of sound effect opportunities - nice menacing Vader voice and the Imperial March is highly appropriate.

  7. lucielucie Dec 08 2013 @ 10:21

    That made me laugh a lot, 49er, thanks!

  8. 49erFaithful Dec 09 2013 @ 18:27

    The pleasure was all mine. Mwa ha haaa! ALL MINE!!!

  9. BlastedHeath Dec 13 2013 @ 23:52

    JAMBALAYA!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amICZ1aVaCg

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