I finally found my purpose today. I would

  • I finally found my purpose today. I would have never guessed it was

  • so easy to open up pickle jars for a living. Surprisingly, this purpose seemed to be very boring after the nth time of being an official pickle jar opener.

  • I turned in my pickle jar opener credentials and, for the most part, left my pickle jar opening days behind me. Who'd of thought those days opening pickle jars were my salad days?

  • But I have opened so much jars that it got stuck on me and it almost cost me my job! Who would've thought I would be closing them? But my boss was kind enough to just punish me wi-

  • th a good, swift kick to my behind. He also rammed my head into a large jar of pickled beets before canning me. Now magenta-faced and jobless, I have taken to begging for olives by

  • winking at Eleanor Rigby. Her lonely eyes lit up each time she opened her pantry & saw me, well, just sitting there. One day, she opened my jar & I emerged, beet-faced & remorseful

  • because I had just gotten out of bed, and had no time to get ready. "Oh, hello," I said to Eleanor, while trying to look for a pair of pants or something, so I could look decent.

  • Eleanor, meanwhile, had transformed into a giant crocodile type creature from another dimension, so I guessed I could skip looking decent for now. I'd only have to clean the pants

  • But before I could get that far my legs started running. No one know where to exactly because there was nowhere left to go. But run they did.

  • Life's funny like that. In a way, this whole story was a metaphor for life itself: birth, the trials and tribulations of living, and inescapable inevitability of the grave.



  1. SlimWhitman Jul 20 2019 @ 08:44

    Props to PP for working in that line from Eleanor Rigby and Toogs who brought it all together - noone was saved...

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