'Do you have any idea how fast you were going?'

'Do you have any idea how fast you were going?' 'Yeah, it was awesome, right?'

'No, it wasn't awesome. Not even close.' I gestured at the wreckage of their car, stained with the blood of a random biker. I had been called to the crash, and as a cop I had never

had a chance to use this taser, so I jumped at the opportunity. Zap! "What was that for, officer?" "Awesomeness misbranding, two counts," I replied. Meanwhile, the biker bled out

the motor oil and meth in his veins through a phlebotomy tube into a small cauldron heating over a sterno can. I tasered him again. "Ow! Quit it!" "Doesn't that make it go faster?"

No it just makes me feel like my toes are tingling" the motor oil and meth consumer replied. "Where are you hiding the good stuff?" "Relax, we have only just begun" I said

. I took off my boot and socks off and showed him my toes. "Doesn't it look like they're tingling?" I asked. The meth consumer then asked, angrily, "I SAID where's the stuff!"

"Kitchen cupboard, top shelf," I said calmly. The meth user zipped into the kitchen. Meanwhile I stealthily crept up behind him and held the socks in his face. "Ugh!" He fainted.

"Say hello to my widdle fwends!" I shrieked, although it was obviously too late to register with the sweepy poweece. This wasn't the first time the SWAT team raided the day care,

and I certainly hoped it would be the last. I was absolutely fed up with their AK47s and diversion tactics.