Let me assure you that if I insure you I

Let me assure you that if I insure you I can ensure you that your insurance is an assurance of ensurance. The endurance of your insurance is assuredly guaranteed. Any questions?

Shirley raised her hand tentatively. "Are you sure?" she asked. "Because the last guy who assured me of the endurance of my insurance was found face down at the shore." I reassured

her that her no cover insurance policy was copper bottom underwritten by the finest Sicilian families. "Stop talking! Where do I sign!" shouted Shirley. I exchanged my commission

for selling that policy to her for the promise of dinner the next night at the local pizza joint. Unfortunately,

the policy was written by an offworld organization. Once she signed the policy her life was no longer hers. At 2:23 am she was awakened by a beam of red light. It hummed.

She finally worked out that it was supposed to be Moon River. She had barely had time to think that before the alien Insurance Adjuster entered to collect her life. "Your life wll

"Hey, wait a minute, I have the plans to the moon destroyer right here in my overalls," he said to the man who was no longer there. Not knowing what else to do, he set about build-

the moon destroyer. He would end it's decent into the atmosphere single handedly if he had to. It worked like a charm except his aim was slightly off and instead of the moon he hit

the planet Betazed just when it was celebrating the wedding of the millenium. The sky above him started raining invitees. It was the most X-rated planet expiration imagina... BOOM!