Dear Diary: Dad's dead, & all I got was

Dear Diary: Dad's dead, & all I got was his ring. Duncan's dead too - oh, and Gurney too. Mom and I are being chased by giant worms. My eyes are turning blue (cool) but I keep

wishing there was some water with all this sand. (I miss surfing.) Some dude called me Muad'Dib or something. Man its hot, diary. Giant worms approaching. This bites. Gotta go.

Dear diary - just been declared King of the Worms. Long story but as soon as I convert to Hermaphroditism the coronation goes ahead. I'm in 2 minds about it.

It was really a fluke when I met my betrothed in the Congo. Queen Taenia is infected with a sentient tapeworm merged with her conciousness. Now I too carry the worm. It speaks to

us in a hypnotic progression of thought bubbles. Queen Taenia and I are united in consciousness by the sentient tapeworms that we both carry. Every waking moment we share our

tapeworms' interpretation of our consciousness. My tapeworm used to inhabit Dave Chapelle, so it's got a sense of humor and potty mouth that Queen Taenia's tapeworm doesn't apprec

Iate. Their offspring was reportedly even more notorious than my tapeworm. Good King Alexander was alarmed and called an emergency meeting of the fifteen minds controlling humanity

including two of those 15 minds that were mine. Good King Alexander was not good, barely a Joe Blow, & didn't look like any Alexander I ever met, boy or girl. His alarms needed cal

-cium rich cheese if he had any hope of growing a backbone at all. Nobody listened to the whines and fusses of Good King Alexander any more. He had grown tedious and had to ride in