When the magic of her smile faded, it was

When the magic of her smile faded, it was withering. She drained the friendly out of her face whenever her friends disappeared, just in case someone beneath her might look in her

glove compartment cesspool. It was stuffed like a turkey, receipts, fast food napkins, aged parking tickets, congealed soy sauce, melted cold capsules, a fork, and a bag of

He thought manscaping would be the answer, as he took alone time to apply a soothing salve to the razor burn on his freshly shorn scrotum. Sure, it impressed the ladies, but

didn't anything impress the ladies these days? Who was he kidding? A 5 O'Clock shadow on his nut sack, a razor and salve helped, but only so much. He needed more. MUCH more.

He dabbed cologne down his chest and picked a couple stray gray hairs from around his ears. Salt and pepper could rev some ladies up, but where he was going, he needed to look

as young, smooth, and blond as a debutante, and twice as good in a gown. He adjusted the spaghetti straps, put on his pumps, and made his way to the staircase. His smile

glistened with glitter-coated lipgloss as he stepped down into the depths of the theater. The stage manager, William, met him at the wings, thrusting a heavy bundle into his gloved

hands. He put on his wig, fixed his make-up. He was ready as ever. He'd hit the stage in his high heels coated in the glamour. Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" never looked so great

iIn lip sync. Well, maybe if Gaga herself did it. He fanticised about a duet for a few seconds and smiled. Not that there's anything wrong with that.