In the short time since he'd stepped across

In the short time since he'd stepped across the threshold, the race had begun. The old were tired and awaiting slaughter, save a few who enlisted cronies to bolster their position

because their cores were weak. It was the result of wearing a weight belt everywhere. He just couldn't admit he was fat. He had use the belt to pull his gut in. But the shredded

wheat he ate three times a day was doing a number on his gastrointestinal tract. He was as clean as a whistle from stem to stern and quite proud of it. Once, he even

stunned the administers of his weekly colonic when absolutely nothing was flushed free of him. Was that even possible? He was there to show them that it was.

Eureka! Using Tina Yothers as a laxative, and bursting with pride (among other things), he jumped onto the examining table and eliminated the contents of his bladder and colon.

The doctors looking on obviously had no sense of humour at all, because all they did was sigh and summon a janitor named Tom, who was immune to the smell of shit.

Tom worked in the hospital because he was an avid fan of "General Hospital", and thought he'd finally been promoted to that surgeon job he always wanted. Arriving in the operating

theater, he put on surgical gloves, sterilized clothes and he scrubbed in. Then as he walked in and everyone turned to stare at him.

and,what the heck, he was way ahead in the rankings and could afford to lose on or two more and still come in first. What was it he was supposed to cut out? "WTF, let's GO!"