In a subway station I spied a cardboard box

In a subway station I spied a cardboard box scrawled with 'Eddies Odorific Theatre'. A holey sock puppet appeared in a cutout section and a high pitched voice announced "Presenting

- Floppers The Pirate!" The voice was that of a little girl's but she was still hidden inside the box. Assumed, I played along, after all, my train was going to be late anyway.

But the tale the little girl told about Floppers the Pirate shook me to my very core. It rattled my sense of manhood and decency that I gave up on my family right then and there.

Spent the rest of my life flip-flopping around indecently, just like the impotent pirate. I even spoke like Floppers the Pirate, only with a lisp.

Floppers hadn't always been a pirate. He has once been a clown. Some say he still is. They call him the Pirate Clown. I don't know anything about that though. My flopping tongue

Was inherited from my grandfather. He taught me the art of flopping your tongue. I dared not advertise it because it was viewed as a stigma. That put me in a true dilemma regarding

my plan to seduce the dean of students with cunnilingus. I decided to opt for subtlety and just do more of a dry munch. Upon approach though,

the dean of students attacked my friend with a

fist.