I knew it was a mistake as soon as I

I knew it was a mistake as soon as I

hit "send." I was locked in a snark-off with the dept. chair. She replied, "I could outshine your compelling thesis with 10 keystrokes, 9 of them q's." We archaeologists cut deep.

"'Quqqqqqq' isn't a word." "It's 'fuck off' in proto-Aramaic." I legged it down the corridor & crashed into her office. The dept chair dropped the Beaker shard she was holding. I

then I said, "wwweeerrrrrtttyy." That's when the Keyboard of Glory appeared and said, "I will grant you any wish that you can type in 10 seconds." I was dizzy, so this would be

...polar bears. That's it, that's all I could think about. My pinky hit the "p" and polar bears popped out. The Keyboard of Glory gladly granted my wish and a huge polar bear was

playing Foosball with Putin in my man-den. The Keyboard of Glory pulsed with its eldritch light in indescribable colors as stupid forces pounded the world above our bunker. C

Harles the Great hunkered down to play his favourite move in Foosball, which his uncle Black the Greyt taught him as a child. The stupid forces spotted a rare Pokemon on the roof.

Clovis, their redneck neighbor, shot the rare Pokemon off the roof and into his pig-roasting pit, where it sizzled a song fittin' fer an angels choir. It was good eating, even

though it was a Japanese cartoon character and way too lean for Clovis' taste (he liked the fatter U.S.A. Cartoons like Wimpy, and Fat Albert...but a little gravy made it better!