"Stella!" I yelled, waking myself up. It

"Stella!" I yelled, waking myself up. It took me a few minutes to orient myself to my stark apartment. Here was my dirty sheet wrapped around me, there was my playboy centerfold,

she'd just finished her shoot. I didn't mind sharing her with "Heff" because I knew that he'd been impotent for years due to a magazine "binding" accident in the early years.

Heff and she wasn't Mrs. Heff. She was nice. White. Clearly smooth without no signs of contamination. Perky too. Tiny bell is heard....BING...BING..."Please insert more money to

receive milk." Whoever this new cow was, she was certainly more generous than Mrs. Heff. Mr. Heff had to decide on what flavor he wanted and if he had the right amount of change.

"Your money is no good here, sir," replied the milkbar cow. Johnny Depp raised his arm. "Hold on, hold on. Is this the remake of The Shining or A Clockwork Orange, Kubrick?" Martin

Sheen laughed, "It might be, what's it to you Depp?" Johnny Depp looked at him, did a double take and went right over and

Took his hat off, tossing it intothe 70mph wind and it flew south.

The Mad Hatter suddenly wondered if that was such a good move on his part, How would he manage without his hat, alas he reached for his cup of tea as the White Rabbit

shot his lucky foot out, causing the Queen of Hearts to trip. The Mad Hatter spilled his hot tea as he tried to help the Queen up, who was royally pissed. It was OFF WITH HIS HEAD!