Maybe it was because I was still half-asleep

Maybe it was because I was still half-asleep but this morning when I was showering I almost started to fly twice. Since my shower is basically a stand-up glass coffin that would've

also doubled as a cocoon, I just felt the need to spread my wings. After showering, I stopped to smell the roses and looked into the my daily duties as the Monarch of

the Garden on Eden. It was paradise! Flitting from flower to flower, my wings dried under the perfect sun. It was then that I first saw Eve, a flower in her own right. I lighted on

her shoulder and Eve revealed to me that she would subjugate Adam through the knowledge of good and evil. I was aghast! She seemed so innocent but, behind her back was a

scaly boa flung casually over the shoulder. Eve seduced Adam Chandler during a night of Vegas slots and craps, wheels and rummy. He woke up the next morning at the drive-thru Elvis

Liquor Store, his car having stalled at the pickup window. Seems Adam had picked up more than he could handle. The ghost of Eve Arden and her three spectral breasts hovered nearby.

They glowed red with disapproval at his drinking habits. Eve Arden wasn't going to let her death stand in the way of claiming Adam's liver. He had pledged this organ to her on a s

a sexual harassment awareness course when Kevin Spacey announced he would be reprising the lead role in "Iceman..." Miss Brooks was not amused, but kept her opinion to herself.

In a vocation that had produced the likes of Antony Hopkins, Michael Caine, and Daniel Day-Lewis, the specter of elevating a closeted pedophile was hard for her to swallow.