He grew even more concerned that the schizophrenia

He grew even more concerned that the schizophrenia was back when the strong aroma of asparagus pee wafted up from the bowl. He hated asparagus. He looked around. "Hello?"

The Asparagus Pee poured a stream of consciousness into his mind. "Acrid, acrid tangy yellow pee. How was the asparagus." This wasn't the first time his urine stained his conscious

ness. It happened before, when he ate Babuska's poppy seed roll. He had Opium pee that time, causing him to fail his urinalysis right before the Tour de France. The Opium Pee made

a delicious addition to Lance Dopestrong's sports drink. For good measure all competitors from the elite men's road race division contributed to Lance Dopestrong's sports drink

by personally peeing their testosterone-laden pee into every bottle. I bet Lance Dopestrong used drugs to beat cancer, too. Good thing we Christian Scientists have Jenny McCarthy

Yes, she is giving bagpipe lessons to the hard-of-thinking, and making rather a good salary, from what I hear. People line up every day to pay her a quarter and get a half-hour

To wear a kilt and play bagpipes, like traditional Scotsmen do. My mum suggested I learn how to play bagpipes in addition to the accordion I already have mastered. Genius, she said

lies in mastering instruments no one else would care to. Like eating nacho cheese with duck pate - people assume you have good taste because you can afford to be eccentric about it

or cavier on cheetohs,Dom Perignon & Fanta,playing flight of a bumble bee on a theremin,wearing bunny footie PJs, barfing & posting to youtube. Oh wait that's nothing special now.