While working on cybernetic Ultraman underwear

While working on cybernetic Ultraman underwear in his old lab an explosion fused the underwear to his skin, along with a bats wings. Prof. Fugu used his time vortex watch to try to

provide evidence to crack history's greatest unsolved mysteries. Understandably, most folks were put off by Prof. Fugu's outfit (cybernetic underwear and bat wings) but he found

pencil marks on Napoleon's wall, revealing him to have been 6'2, people listened. Prof. Fugu also found some time lapse cave paintings of Stonehenge's construction. His bat wings

were out something fierce because it was really humid. Prof. Fugu was lecturing in front of 1000 people, how could he pull his ball skin off his thighs in front of them without

getting filmed by these perverts? He needed his comfort again. He'd seen his students do that before in front of female teachers and they wouldn't give a care. Life is hard.

And so was he. The Pervo Reality Show camera crew sniggered as they followed the teacher of the year into a janitor's closet. He'd made a hole to spy on the principal Ms. Slaphappy

, as she cleaned the erasers and sorted papers on her big wooden desk. The reality show crew saw that the male teacher spying on Ms Slaphappy was getting itchy pants

. "I really don't want to see this guy crack a fat," whispered the director. "But if he does, it'd be AWESOME for the ratings!" Ms. Slaphappy bent over to retrieve her pencil.

Aaand... CRAAACCK. It was a fat. It was, like, ratings EVERYWHERE. The director won his Emmy. But what of Ms Slaphappy, authoress of the fat, you ask. Well, just between you & me