Hey, diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle,

Hey, diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon, the dastedly dog snickered, when the cow transfigured

at the sight of the full moon. It was a visual nightmare with horns and paws everywhere. Only the cow's transformation wasn't complete. It's hide was still black and white

and red all over. The Satanic Cow took flight and morosely mooed over the town. It's udders of hate twitched in evil desire. The Cow's eyes glowed sickly green when it saw the town

. It hovered over the town square, the townspeople groaned as one and sank to their knees. "Let us suck from your udders of hate, Satanic Cow, to lift this curse..." they muttered

, as they placed their pale, trembling lips upon the Satanic Cow's swollen udders. ANYTHING to lift the curse! The satanic milk was, as expected, bitter...it was...dark chocolate.

In a matter of days, scientists had surrounded this Satanic Cow, hemming and hawwing about their results. How could this magnificent beast, this manly, musky hero of a cow, produce

"I am an enigma," purred the Satanic Cow as she cleaned between her huge claws with her tongue. The other cows had the eerie feeling that she was not to be trusted, but they

Needed her to protect them from the Monsanto Gang, who were disguised as cannisters of Roundup to fool tjd villagers. They had never learned the natural ways of gardening at night.

So at the end of the day, she decided to just was her hands of the whole situation, and go to bed.