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New Moon light by Noon light. The glow is

  • New Moon light by Noon light. The glow is so dim you might, have a hard time finding it's source in the sky. Look down not up, it might improve your luck. Two shadows, find the dim

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  • sum dish at a really good Chinese restaurant and you'll see deep friend chicken feet. I eat them to gross people out, but they're really disgusting really. I mean, have you seen

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  • the kind of cheap-ass shit they try to pass off as overpriced cuisine in a Chinese Buffet? Hot dogs wrapped with bacon. "Coconut shrimp" is shrimp drowned in mayo. That's not all

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  • , hell the pepper steak is also shrimp drowned in mayo. Bigby the food inspector was hardly concerned with Chinese food authenticity. Big by was worried about smuggled

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  • linens woven with the hair of Malaysian children. "According to the label, these linens were also made with mayo," said Bigby, fearing the worst. He stormed into the kitchen where

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  • the small fairy children were sewing their little wings off. Bigby knew he was in trouble. He shouted "NO MAYO! USE MIRACLE WHIP!" Everyone knows it's creamier and tastes

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  • like something unprintable. But Bigby was too late. The mayonnaise had already begun to spoil. His days as an Iron Chef were over.

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  • Luckily, Bigby had his eye on a new career. He had a lot of freshly spoiled mayonnaise and according to Pinterest, you can use that funky gunk to make the most adorable little

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  • lip balms! Soooo cute! And that is how the mega-cosmetics giant "Bigby' s Balms" was born. Consumers didn't seem to mind the faint rotten egg smell. Bigby' s empire grew to include

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  • several other products, such as fake eye-lashes, from dubious origin, including the newest trends inspired by the harajuku culture. And it was a hit, no one seemed to care.

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1 Comments

  1. Zetawilk Aug 02 2013 @ 18:04

    Even longer before this, I remember some thing going around the internet about how awful Chinese buffets were. The menu items I mentioned are real. And there were at least a couple such overpriced diners around here, as well. I wonder if I could still find that video of that one large group that got overcharged and held hostage in a Chinese buffet. Recently, there's a pretty decent one some ways away from here now (though it's not really a Chinese buffet). Of course, they also make weird things that you wouldn't know how to eat, like fishes with the head still on that don't appear to come in multiple portions, and edamame. Dining out still remains a thoroughly uncomfortable experience though, especially when you can't get a booth.

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