The first notes from his guitar shot through

The first notes from his guitar shot through the amplifier like a bullet. Loud, distorted, ear-piercing noise. It was just how he felt, and he turned it up louder.

The music was almost loud enough to drown out the screams in the streets outside his second story loft's window. He played the guitar harder, trying not to think about the

out of tune Christmas carolers. But it didn't help. How could well meaning people doing something that horrific to that Little Drummer Boy. He decided to shoot them with Nerf darts

of George, who, traditionally, was dressed up as Santa. Old Miss Crabbs acted quickly. She used sheet music to sop up the blood that was

soaking into the carpet. If only she had soap...and a towel. That would make this whole blood clean-up run a lot smoother. Then hopefully no one would suspect her of

menstruating 10 times in one month. She was a mutant. Her only power was to have multiple periods within the month. She was shedding ovum like a

farmer sowing a field and the Ovum bounced like supper balls some times gaining in height with each bounce till they fell with such force that they dented the" Airstream Trailer"

In fact, so many eggs had been dropped on their mobile home that the farmer and his wife had to hunker down underneath the only solid piece of construction in the thing: the fridge

which turned out to be a bad place to hide out since it weighed half a ton and crushed them to death. They weren't the brightest but at least they died without egg on their face.