So I was stuck watching figure skating. I

So I was stuck watching figure skating. I was all alone with a bowl of mac and cheese. What I can't figure out is why the figure skating made me cry.

Sure I wasn't the manliest of men. I liked my soaps, kept things tidy down there, and had very soft hands. But I'd never bawled over a triple axel before. The skaters were just so

...OH GAWD! I broke down completely, overcome by the emotion as the music climaxed at the same time Brian Boitano made his move. I myself was a little effeminate & loved to skate

in my mother's wedding dress by the light of a full moon. I was often savagely beaten by the other boarders at the skate park, but once I baked them brownies laced with PCP, and

cry, throwing handfuls of lego bricks across the room. Their brains were completely fried after the accident. I still played along though, acting as a human lego man and walking

stiffly as though I had no joints. Being a cyborg, I'd had lots of practice behaving this way. I turned my head slowly and steadily and stared mutely at the maniacal Lego collector

Who was just ten years old and had a kingdom of Legos in his house of ten rooms. Everything Jakov did was in multiples of ten. Being a cyborg, I understood his bizarre universe.

"You're the only one who gets me, but you're a cyborg" Jakov said to me, ten times. "Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time, ya big bag of chemicals," I said, and we both laughed

until milk flew out of my nose and white coolant flew out of his olfactory unit. We stopped to see the mess we had made and do it all over again. Sadly he was taken offline today.