Cratered and vomiting lava, the planet's

Cratered and vomiting lava, the planet's face reminded him of his high school girlfriend on her period. It was time to dance again, he thought. But tonight, he'd brought protection

in the form of a haz-mat suit. He ignored the stares on the dancefloor and approached his high school sweetheart, Charlene. He gazed at her and whispered, "I brought protection."

Then fifteen Yakuza fanned out behind him with German Mark 16's trained on the crowd. The 20 year reunion came to a halt. Middle-aged people just can't stomach this kind of danger.

Middle aged people are used to an entirely different sort of danger. They have lived through raising teenagers. They didn't need to face the danger, having eyes in the backs

of their trunks, carefully stacked in neat and tidy piles, sorted according to age, sex and color. Some liked to arrange the eyes in pyramids, others were more creative and liked

to arrange them in complicated designs on the floor, but their purpose remained the same: to be used in the construction of porcelain dolls whose vile purpose it was to

took up life as a member of a castrati boy band specializing in covers of ABBA songs. They were a big hit with 50-something women, so he

So he found a Mama Mia to give him Money Money Money. Cuz that's the name of the game. He took the name Fernando. And kept his Funky Feet clean. Sexually he was a Super Trooper.

A Super Trooper that can face anything. He act only in the name of awesomeness or attractiveness. He jump straight to the corridor and said 'Mama Mia, GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY?!!"