3 big green elephants were stampeding towards

3 big green elephants were stampeding towards me. I ran as fast as I could but

I was on a serious vision quest fueled by three bales of Peyote, a steamer trunk full of acid, three peppercorn grinders stuffed with opium, so I tried to float over the elephants

that were doing snow angels while on fire. The peanut-shaped interdimensional rift started floating away as I suddenly came down to earth. "Whoa, now I can write that song," I said

"i fell into a peanut-shaped ring of fire!" I drawled at the Barbwire Bistro Road House. I tried to yodel quantum theory to these cowboys but they seemed more into their beer.

A fellow in the back got up and came to the front of the bar wearing a black t-shirt with an equation on it. I realized it was a closed form expression for the grand unified theory

.We were drinking and discussing down-type quarks, majorana masses and lepton isospin doublets, but were suddenly interrupted by the Ghurtvin invasion. Why does this always happen?

And don't answer with anything snarky like those halfwits on FS.com. "Probably because you're on the border of Gurt." Or "Maybe if your watchtower was higher than a midget's

Well its pretty bad I imagine! I would know because I lived most of my life with a conjoined twin attached to my ribcage, and now it sits in a jar resting on the mantle.

my rib-cage, that is. the Siamese twin is still attached to me.