Griffin was playing on the rug with his brand

Griffin was playing on the rug with his brand new toy robot. While Griffin was having the dinner, the robot stood up, stretched and said "I think I will go exploring" First the

robot explored Griffin's room. Then, he explored the hallway. Then he went downstairs and explored the living room. Then Griffin saw it. "MOMMY! MOMMY! My toy robot's come to life!

"Shut up!" Said his mom. "I don't care if your stupid toy robot came to life. It could eat you alive for all I care." Griffin began to cry. The robot came up to him and said

"Would you like me to take care of your mother?" Griffin suppressed a sob. Did the robot say what he thought it said? "What?"he asked. "You know.. take out her batteries?" it said

, "And replace them with dead ones, so no one gets suspicious." Griffin stared at the robot hitman, slack-jawed."How much?" Griffin asked. "To de-energize your mother, I only need

five dollars & a baloney sandwich." Griffin was tempted. His mother was a real pain in the ass. "Deal," Griffin said to the robot hitman & paid the fee. Two hours later the hitman

Was piddly compared to the stock trading job I had previously done while holding my nose. My nose came unglued and one day flew off to parts unknown, so I stopped sneezing forever.

But inside I recognized my moral failure. That guilt that I didn't believe in moved into my house with her three daddy babies. One had already called me a Snowzer because I said no

skanks before four p.m. I mean, a person has to have morals, innit? I knew from the first that she was going to be a problem, but I didn't think with my head. See what happens?