Griffin was playing on the rug with his brand

  • Griffin was playing on the rug with his brand new toy robot. While Griffin was having the dinner, the robot stood up, stretched and said "I think I will go exploring" First the

  • robot explored Griffin's room. Then, he explored the hallway. Then he went downstairs and explored the living room. Then Griffin saw it. "MOMMY! MOMMY! My toy robot's come to life!

  • "Shut up!" Said his mom. "I don't care if your stupid toy robot came to life. It could eat you alive for all I care." Griffin began to cry. The robot came up to him and said

  • "Would you like me to take care of your mother?" Griffin suppressed a sob. Did the robot say what he thought it said? "What?"he asked. "You know.. take out her batteries?" it said

  • , "And replace them with dead ones, so no one gets suspicious." Griffin stared at the robot hitman, slack-jawed."How much?" Griffin asked. "To de-energize your mother, I only need

  • five dollars & a baloney sandwich." Griffin was tempted. His mother was a real pain in the ass. "Deal," Griffin said to the robot hitman & paid the fee. Two hours later the hitman

  • returned with a paper bag sopping with blood. "I beheaded her," the hitbot said, "I hope that was okay." "Fine, fine," Griffin sighed. The shit you had to do for a little matricide

  • Was piddly compared to the stock trading job I had previously done while holding my nose. My nose came unglued and one day flew off to parts unknown, so I stopped sneezing forever.

  • But inside I recognized my moral failure. That guilt that I didn't believe in moved into my house with her three daddy babies. One had already called me a Snowzer because I said no

  • skanks before four p.m. I mean, a person has to have morals, innit? I knew from the first that she was going to be a problem, but I didn't think with my head. See what happens?



  1. Woab Mar 07 2017 @ 15:56


  2. LordVacuity Mar 07 2017 @ 16:10

    You thunk with your heart.

  3. Woab Mar 07 2017 @ 16:25

    Thunk, thunk, thunk.

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