Harold the Bear was missing his hat. It was

Harold the Bear was missing his hat. It was pointy and made of red felt, like a garden gnome's. He made inquiries with his forest brethren. "Have you seen my hat?"

'Details, details' said the Alder Tree to the pedantic Oak. 'You can't move either, chump.' A small piece of the Oak's bark peeled off in annoyance. 'Oh shut up you-' suddenly

well "suddenly" in the tree-sense, so decades later the Pedantic Oak's branch punched the Alder Tree in his trunk. A Decade later the Alder said, "Ow!" After a hundred years a crow

made a nest in a hollow formed in the Pedantic Oak's trunk by the Alder tree's branch which had long since rotted due to Phytophthora. The Alder apologized before death. A woodsman

was chucking wood-chucking woodchucks when along came Sally selling sea shells by the seashore. "Sea shell?" said Sally suggestively. "Pah!" said the woodsman. "Give me 3 toy boats

and do you know I was raised on a pirate ship?" Sally looked at him and her heart began to sing, but first the plan was to rid this dreaded city of the leftover 4 and 20 blackbirds

that would not stop the fucking squawking. SERIOUSLY, what does a woman in a shoe have to do to get some damn peace and quiet around here the screeching of the children

was driving me insane, I took my shoe and threw it at the fattest kid, but he dodged it like George W Bush. Hurghhh. The screaming brats yelled even louder, and I became shoeless

and even more pitiful than the wiley President Fat Kid. Santa was watching, of course, so the brats got nada on Xmas morning while I got a new pair of shoes AND a pink Furby.