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The Taylor of Tök thought it one of the

  • The Taylor of Tök thought it one of the stranger requests during his career, but the client was paying handsomely, so he sewed lead lining into the pockets of the fur coat,

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  • He gave the coat with it's lead-lined pockets to Count Attila Szily. The Count put it on, it's silver fox fur swept the ground. He climbed into his barge and headed up the Danube

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  • . It was a complex & covert operation to attempt splitting atoms at Count Szily's castle, but the Count was known for his eccentric fashion. The uranium was hidden in the pockets

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  • which had developed in his receding gums, some 7 mm or more. Nguyen, DDS would need to be called in -- and he was expensive and mean. Back when he was Viet Cong, Nguyen lost three

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  • minutes in a strange experiment run by the CIA in SouthEast china. The project was called, "Void." Nguyen was on a beer run through the jungle and had seen a red light.

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  • Being pulled through the void to Southeast China wasn't QUITE as terrible as you'd expect. Nguyen barely even noticed, having a light buzz from the beer he'd been bringing back.

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  • Nguyen had a pack of 555 cigarettes, bought cheaply. His friend, Minh, also had 555 cigarettes. That meant a total of 1,110! The black market flourished in Saigon and its suburbs.

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  • Then came that shrubbery scare of 82 and the black market really rose to the occasion. The price of shrubberies shot up 3,321 percent higher & only the black market could deliver.

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  • AND they promised free delivery for any order over $46. I've always thought it an arbitrary dollar amount to choose but who was I to argue with such a great deal on shrubberies.

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  • When they arrived I was disappointed to find that they were mere sticks, but I planted them anyway. Ten years later they had become an impenetrable hedge and I was lost within.

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