Today, my dear friends, I decided to take

Today, my dear friends, I decided to take a walk. Autumn is my favorite season. Oh, my name is Bob by the way. Anyway, when I went on the walk, I saw an old friend, "Bob!", she

hailed with a grimace on her face as she offered a half-hearted wave. "That's odd," I thought. "I'm Bob. Everybody loves me." Skipping my way through autumn-shed leaves, I greeted

all my neighbors with my usual hellos. Not one said "Hey, Bob!" back to me!. Even nice Mrs. Farkas, who made the best sugar cookies in the world, ran inside when she saw me &

I had to investigate this universal unusual behaivior, so I went to the doctor's, he said "Bob, I-I uh, listen, There's something I've been meaning to tell you and I don't know how

so I'll just say it: I've been calling you Bob all these years because you look like my childhood best friend." "Oh," I said. "So his name was Bob?" The doctor sighed. "No. His

name was Jeff. But he looked like a Bob." I stared at the doctor, realization slowly dawning. This doctor was insane. I shrugged. Weren't they all these days? I nodded. "So, doc,

have you ever thought of changing your name to Bob?" Saliva dripped from his bottom lip and his left eye twitched uncontrollably. He swallowed two Risperdal and four abilify

and shouted "I'll do it!" and he changed his name to Bob that very day. Once he became Bob, everything got better for him. He bet his money on a bob-tailed nag, and won. His hair

was bobbed. He listened to Bob Dylan and Bob Seeger and chased the bob cats off the roof.

After a while it all became rather tedious. I'm sick of Bob he thought to himself. I need a name with more panache, more elegance, more dignity. Something interesting. Somethin