It was the best of times, it was the worst

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was also going to be the end of the world. Only one person could save it but right now I didn't know who.

So I want on to Yahoo answers: "Who out there will save the world? Please respond ASAP" The answers included: Beiber, Santa Claus, Capt. America, and some guy in Utah. So I decided

the only rational decision was to sell all my belongings, fill a used school bus with bottled water and heavy artillery ammo, and make my way to Utah. I'd find some guy

ladouche impersonators, and any other expendable life forms, to be the front line of my well-hydrated assault. I wasn't familiar with Utes, but I had heard

from my cousin Vinny what a Ute was, and I hated them. I unloaded both barrels of the

two-barrel wine truck and went home exhausted. I watched My Cousin Vinny a few times that night wondering why the whole "Ute"/"Youth" thing was so funny. Finding no answer, I

gave up on Hollywood and travelled to Tibet for guidance. Of course, in Tibet they were filming a reality TV show called "Monk Off" in which monks were tempted

by drop-dead Chinese women (secret govt. agents) to discard their "Free Tibet" propoganda and hook up with them instead. One by one, the monks on the show succumbed, the "Monk Off"

breakdancing completion. It all started last summer in between chanting and meditation the monks practised spinning on their heads. The world breakdancing competition in Germany

had to be cancelled this year on account of the Mayan calendar, which caused the world to end abruptly just before this story was fi