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It was the post-Apocalypse and I was the

  • It was the post-Apocalypse and I was the King of the Can-Openers.

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  • And yes, as you can guess, I was married to the Queen of Coffee Makers. She was very

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  • quiet. Being only a coffee maker, my wife had no brain, mouth, or anything really. She did make some damn good coffee though.

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  • she wasn't really useless I was just being a little brat. Maybe because my momma spoiled me. I lvoed my wife but I was always complaining about her not talking enough or talking

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  • too much. But of course, I still lvoed her. And she lvoed me. But my wife's coworker Dan also lvoed her, making a lvoe triangle, so I had to kill Dan

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  • with kindness to make him feel bad for making lvoe to my wife. "We'd lvoe it if you came to dinner," I said to Dan. "Maybe we could go out to a movie afterward. Lvoe Story is playi

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  • ng, and I don't want to miss it!" At this, my wife laughed, "Well, while your lvoe making is amazing, Dan, prefer my husband's love more. Correct grammar and all." "Gremer Nazi

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  • my wife hated my grammar, and knew I was right but didn't care, she misspelled half of the words in the divorce papers just in spite. by god was she a bitch, I didn't know why she

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  • insisted on making my life a living hell.Imagine being chased by your own shadow- you'll eventually go insane, but to other people it seems normal. The mockery, the hate, justified

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  • ennui. The shadows have it pretty rough. How awful to feel so trapped, to have to follow someone else's lead. I for one will never follow any -- wait -- nevermind! The End.

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