It was the post-Apocalypse and I was the

It was the post-Apocalypse and I was the King of the Can-Openers.

And yes, as you can guess, I was married to the Queen of Coffee Makers. She was very

quiet. Being only a coffee maker, my wife had no brain, mouth, or anything really. She did make some damn good coffee though.

she wasn't really useless I was just being a little brat. Maybe because my momma spoiled me. I lvoed my wife but I was always complaining about her not talking enough or talking

too much. But of course, I still lvoed her. And she lvoed me. But my wife's coworker Dan also lvoed her, making a lvoe triangle, so I had to kill Dan

with kindness to make him feel bad for making lvoe to my wife. "We'd lvoe it if you came to dinner," I said to Dan. "Maybe we could go out to a movie afterward. Lvoe Story is playi

ng, and I don't want to miss it!" At this, my wife laughed, "Well, while your lvoe making is amazing, Dan, prefer my husband's love more. Correct grammar and all." "Gremer Nazi

insisted on making my life a living hell.Imagine being chased by your own shadow- you'll eventually go insane, but to other people it seems normal. The mockery, the hate, justified

ennui. The shadows have it pretty rough. How awful to feel so trapped, to have to follow someone else's lead. I for one will never follow any -- wait -- nevermind! The End.