He kept his eyes on the prize, just on top

He kept his eyes on the prize, just on top of the mantle. "Don't it make my brown eyes blue..." he thought that the song was fitting for the situation but maybe a bit too literal.

He was tied down by electrical cord. The evil toddler used fish hooks to keep his eye lids open. She colored his blue eyes with brown marker. She went outside the lines and

made him kiss her Ken doll. "Start talkin', Harry Manback!" the little girl commanded as she upped the voltage on the POW's restraints, "or I'll rub lipstick on your pretty little

belly button." "It's called a navel," I corrected the incorrigible little whelp. She turned the voltage on higher. I screamed, my ursine fur standing on end. I couldn't move a

nd the pain was unbearable. The smell of singed fur permeated the air. Paws raised, I growled, "Please bear with me. I never meant to step on your toes." She finally caved.

We've been married ever since. So I highly recommend suiting up for your proposal. In your case I suggest a gorilla or orangutan suit. Show up at her doorstep eating some tulips &

reciting lines from the theme song of George of the Jungle. Then get down on one knee and start hooting and screeching, maybe pound your chest. This is when you find the ring and

assemble all the courage, all the knowledge, hope, spirit and strength there is in your being, and you look through it. You shall see what is beyond the realm of our kind, a whole

"My new tale," said Scheherazade, "is about a parrot, a half-man half-manatee and alien invasion." The King was intrigued and let her live another night.