I am Groot.

I am Groot.

I live in the marshes in the middle of nowhere. No-one comes to visit me, no-one except Greet. She's combing her hair now. She asks "Groot, can I live with you?", of course I said

"of course." Greet moved in immediately, bringing her wardrobe of burlap sacks and a rusty old ladle. Together we applied a fresh coat of mud to my hut. "Groot, I have never been

unfaithful to you. Isn't it about time we considered teaming up and hunting ninjas? I've been practicing all kinds of new moves.", Greet asked Groot, adjusting her cork spectacles.

"Couldn't we just germinate under the moon tonight instead," asked Groot sheepishly.

Groot was feeling tendrily, but his girlfriend Zook wanted adventure. I want to touch the crypts inner wall toinight & read the secret braille message. Zook was into cryptography

but it really wasn't necessary because her handwriting was so bad, anyway. "Look Zook," said Groot, "how about we just communicate through charades?" This annoyed her even further

and she ripped open her blouse, revealing a pair of tasseled 44ZZZ magnums. Groot grinned, unfastened his trouser & proudly showed Zook his Glock 69X. Now, they were communicating.

Groot adjusted his jock strap, scratching the crowned jewels in the process, and shouted, “Rocket, there isn’t a damned thing filthier than you in my pocket!” So endeth the fable.