I was sitting on my couch eating cheetos

I was sitting on my couch eating cheetos when out of nowhere, jumped a tiny man who wanted to take me to

Narnia, where the land of the swift and graceful lay. I heard the robot unicorn attack song in the distance, I knew it was coming...

I started tapping my fingers with all my might. TAP, TAP, TAP, CLIFFFFF! I wasn't worried. Though I was a n00b, I still had two tries left. My unicorn prepared for the worst.

It had become jaded to my lackluster performance & had filed its horn down so that it could pass for a horse and not be embarrassed in front of other unicorns, ridden by champions

so I spray painted, "I am a Unicorn" on its side. At the gala day parade I invited its graduating class from high school to watch. Then I rode on it's back with a fake hill billy

brand hoodie. The latest in urban apparel. It's amazing what people will pay for. It's a hoodie with an attached overall style bib all covered in graffiti. Mine is a fake so it

was ridiculously cheap, which I don't mind since I desperately needed the money to buy my very own

safety back from the Mafia. I knew it was a racket, but it's not like I could

serve when they had backhanded me so cruelly, When you're 40, love can - oh, Lord, I need to get a grip. Oh, I have faults, not least a passion for cat gut. But I go balls out,