The Solution: Hidden Costume.

Yes friends- Hidden Costume! The costume you can fold up and hide in your pocket! Imagine the embarrassment you will avoid when walking to masquerades! And just think of all the

pranks you can pull, pop into the bathroom at parties & hey presto, in a flash you're a giant enchanted frog prince, Frankenstein's monster or Godzilla! Folding Costumes guarantees

nothing. Wow, my face is melting. Literally. Not like I've had too much to eat, it's hot, and I'm wearing a scarf and a woolen hat. Think more an ice cube in the sun. Melting.

Bubbling. Festering. Hey, don't look away! You need to see this. Otherwise you won't believe me when I say "literally". Oh there goes my nose and eyebrows. Just slid off my face

and into my Buster Browns. I was not delayed getting there by the fortuitous fact that I had not done laundry in a month and I had given up on wearing underwear. Hence the smell.

That smell. Dear God that smell. It ravaged through the house, producing salt from saccharine and peeling the wallpaper into ragged shreds that sloughed from the walls like

rotting flesh from bone. Decades from now when the foundation has cracked and the house has begun to fall apart, that awful smell will remain.

Eventually the smell became sentient and developed aspirations of becoming a ballerina in a hit Broadway show. I hadn't the heart to tell Smell that could never be so I lied & gave

Margot Fonteyn an invitation to opening night. My role was that of a snowflake and I was well coached, unknown to Smell and his cousin Sniff. The critics raved about my performance