I like pinapples, but jim here says they
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I like pinapples, but jim here says they remind him of the desert. I told him no, pinapples are from the rainforest and he...
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decided to go find out for himself. Adventuring deep into the wilderness in search of pineapples, he found the tree of life. On that tree there was a single fruit and it was a big
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ripe Pineaple. There was a bird of paradise sitting in the tree guarding the fruit but if you ate it
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(the fruit, not the bird.) you would gain the knowlege of good and evil and feel embarrassed in swimming pool locker rooms. The Bird of Paradise would escort you to the wilderness
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where you would encounter many things, man, and do some really heavy stuff, dude. It would be awesome. I wanted nothing to do with it, of course, so I took my kiwi and
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rutabaga marmalade and headed for the door. Who were these shmoes anyway? As I exited I nearly ran into Mrs. Tremlins who I'd always thought was positively enchanting so I
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stopped to talk to her. I smiled and greeted her, but Mrs. Tremlins didn't seem to think I was worthy of conversation; she pushed past me and walked purposefully to the
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back of the elevator and faced the wall. I was going to make her talk to me. "I want to fondly you." Mrs. Tremlins started shaking. I unzipped my pants. "That was my zipper."
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"And THAT is not a banana in my pocket" Then suddenly Mrs Tremlins found her taser, and aimed directly at my manhood. "Oh baby, what's wrong? Don't wanna be fondled?
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Just then the green banana leapt out of my pocket and socked Mrs. Tremlins in the face, making her drop her taser. "Nobody will be mutilating genitalia on MY watch!" The end.
2
- Started
- 2011-08-11 16:48:20
- Finished
- 2011-10-12 17:54:37
7 Comments
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SlimWhitman Oct 13 2011 @ 17:56
Wouldn't the Taser make a trouser snake 'dance', so to speak?
Zetawilk Oct 13 2011 @ 19:52
Don't tasers have to large sharp things in you to stick on you and electrocute you? Also I'm pretty sure tasers contain a plentiful bout of amperes just shy of enough to stop your heart and kill you (although who knows, the human body is malleable).
Zetawilk Oct 13 2011 @ 19:52
Lodge. Couldn't the comments at least have typo correction?
SlimWhitman Oct 14 2011 @ 03:24
You're right about the taser-dart. I confused tasers with tesla-guns. It is strange that the comments section doesn't have the spell-checker that's running when you add to a fold. That things awesome.
Zetawilk Oct 14 2011 @ 03:46
Well, see, "large" is correctly spelled, but it's not the word I intended to use and I missed it when I was proofreading.
DanMars Oct 14 2011 @ 05:43
I meant those that shoot wires that give an electric discharge, are they classified as tasers too? :)
Zetawilk Oct 14 2011 @ 13:12
I should think so; those are tasers! Clicky-clicky-clicky. Just like when Bill O'Reilly went to the Red Robin and tried attacking the mascot. Oh, Bill was frothing at the mouth that day.