I think I'll blow my brains against the ceiling,

  • I think I'll blow my brains against the ceiling, and as the fragments of my skull begin to fall, fall on your tongue like pixie dust just think happy thoughts. And we'll fly home.

  • Jenny smiled, but inside she was thinking, "OMG. How stupid was I to think I could meet someone normal through Match.com." Her date's dark piercing stare and the pentagram tattoo

  • did nothing to allay her fears, of course. Mercifully the dinner went quickly. Afterwards she sneaked a look at his credit card when he went to the restroom- "Grigory Y Rasputin"

  • She gasped and dropped her date's credit card. Rasputin's bright silver eyes burned into her mind. A moment later the toilet flushed, but by then she had fled to

  • Vladivostok in a jangling sleigh with the well endowed Russian monk. "O Rasputin, I feel revolution in the air," she exclaimed, "Lenin's on the train, it's the tractor factory for

  • aging for us. Vladivostok said, "I love scrounging around tractor factories, I want to make a helmet out of a combine. Rasputin smirked at the evilness of their plan to

  • undermine the organic farmers by slowly dismantling their tractor supplies. It was ingenious...a helmet from a combine, a visor from a mower blade, a fedora from a motor filter.

  • Then I dropped a mower blade and chopped off my left toe. I screamed PROFANITY at the top of my lungs. Not only was it painful, but the organic farmers were sure to catch me now.

  • I tried 2 run as fast as I could, but a gingerbread man minus a toe isnt the fastest runner, if u know what I mean. The organic farmers hate me anyway, it's the whole Splenda thing

  • But luckily I was kinda a deformed gingerbread man, so I switched my running pattern to use my third leg. I got away, but now I have to sleep with frozen peas on my crotch.



  1. MangoMania Oct 09 2013 @ 13:25

    Gingerbread men don't even have toes. You sure are crazy.

  2. CrazyBananas Oct 09 2013 @ 13:32

    but the really special ones could... but if we're fact checking, WilDom, a gingerbread man with a 3rd leg?? Id love to go to that bakery :)

  3. WilDom Oct 09 2013 @ 13:36

    CrazyBanana - THAT bakery's gingerbread men also have toes ... got to keep every fetish satisfied

  4. MangoMania Oct 09 2013 @ 13:38

    I think you need to stop shopping at the exotic bakery. ;-)

  5. WilDom Oct 09 2013 @ 13:39

    Oh, I don't. I shop at the erotic bakery. It always gets me up in the morning

  6. MangoMania Oct 09 2013 @ 13:40

    bahahaha my mistake

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