This is intolerable. I placed my steak order

This is intolerable. I placed my steak order an hour ago. Where was the waiter? I went to the kitchen- it's deserted. Weird. Wait, is that blood on the floor? Wha- ung! (blackness)

I left the restaurant just in time see it blow up. I luckily hadn't paid! My uncle said, turn on the channel 9 news. NOW!" So I turned the old tellie on for what was the last ttime

because a big earthquake struck causing the power plant to blow up and the electric grid to fail. Luckily I hadn't paid my power bill or my tv reception bill. My apartment building

hitch a ride on a spaceship to the new colony in hopes of starting anew. I had never traveled like this before and didn't know quite what to think when someone handed me a towel

&shoved me onto the moving walkway leading to the spaceship.Mechanical arms popped out, scrubbing me clean&perming my hair, just like in the Jetsons.Being part of the new Colony

proletariat meant that I was in for a life of stale potato chips, artificial fabric couches and slow internet. Yes, I was in the future. No, things were not looking great.

So I applied for a job. The man who hired me was kind of a jerk, but what was I supposed to do. Maybe I could

falsely accuse him of sexual harassment & get him fired. Maybe later. Right now, I had to earn a paycheck, or risk getting shipped back to Siberia. I hustled my a$$ off for 6 weeks

The work was hard, but the gulags would have been harder. Anyway, I always liked working with people. But I will never know what happened to the penguins.