Don't feed the dogs or you'll turn into a

  • Don't feed the dogs or you'll turn into a penguin! How was she to know that one of the least believable of her father's instructions would actually lead to this fate. Her skin

  • was cool & slippery. Someone stretched out a feathered leg. She fell face-down onto the icy ground. Splat! "Why you big bully!" she tried to yell, but instead issued squeaky honks

  • from the gaping abyss she called a mouth. She lifted herself up, trying to locate her tormentor, but only saw a flash of peacock tail before they disappeared. Peeling skin off her

  • toes (she had athlete's foot, and her skin was always peeling there), she flicked the fungal infected skin at the disappearing peacock tail and watches in satisfaction as

  • the skin bounces excitedly off the feathers, and away into the distance. Looking to the people around her, she proceeds to lift the fungus-infected toes to her mouth and

  • bites them off. It's okay though, because they were infected and kinda gross-looking (though the man she's biting them off of doesn't seem to understand this). "What are you

  • Thinking when you smoke that stinky weed?" I asked. Mountain Girl answered, "This is the nest I have looked for all my life. There were six eggs she was sitting on. These were all

  • my future brothers & sisters. From this eyrie we will spread to cover the mountain with our feathers. But that was a dream that died when those six eggs were stolen by UberHipster.

  • So we will instead cover the village below in guano. You two- finish your chili and head for the McDonald's. Squawkers, you cover the statues of the racist warriors. I'll let loose

  • a humongous beer and cabbage fart; that should level the playing field. Alas, the game was no longer a game: it was a chore--a pain-in-the-ass. The whole damn World was a mess.



  1. Woab Nov 21 2017 @ 10:18

    From penguin to peacock to parrot, avian beings beginning with the letter P seem to be the theme, here.

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