The first we saw of the Carpet King was a

The first we saw of the Carpet King was a cloud of dust coming along the road to the farm. My mother was sitting on the step, picking stones out of the dried beans in a big enamel

Star Wars waste bin at her side. The Carpet King approached. "You ladies interested in shag?" Momma grabbed a stone and reared back. She recognized that 10-gallon hat, that look of

a died in the weeds carpetbagger,a scalawag if there ever was one, but the stone was too heavy and she get a hernia. The Carpet King swept off his hat and helped Momma take a seat.

Momma loved the plush divan she was sitting on, and wanted to buy it. The Carpet King said it was sold next door at his Sofa King store, where the prices were Sofa King great!

And so he reeled her over to the Sofa King while I grudgingly followed them there. 'Now you don't need the little pup for this transaction lady?' The Carpet King smiled, a little

shag carpet fuzz hanging from his lip. My wife looked at me and said, "No, I don't need the little pup for this transaction." The Carpet King, The Sofa King, The Duke of Drapes all

of their assembled sedentary monarchy to boot were horrified to hear we had pets. The Carpet and Sofa Kings and Drapes Duke eyed one another, mumbling to double the price.

They called in the Scotch Guards for protection. "Prepare for attack," shouted the Carpet & Sofa Kings & the Drape Duke, in chorus. "Over there, to the left...a cat in heat!" The

in a way that it overshadowed his lack of sexual experience. Drape then set out on a new journey, without cats, but perhaps with many "bitches" instead.