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I really can't think of a sentence to start

  • I really can't think of a sentence to start so I'm basically just typing something random. If you're reading this feel free to finish it or whatever you want to do, I really don't

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  • know quite what to do, as this is out of the normal element as far as 'normal is concerned'. The paper is neither real nor foldable, but it is, most assuredly,

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  • bought by a corporate entity so that it could embed it's little consumerist lies in the news. They don't even hide it anymore. Well I started embedding the news in commercials

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  • Every ad began with a family at a table, or a busy commuter trying to make the train. That morning's Reuters headlines would be digitally imprinted on a newspaper one of the was

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  • an ad showing a poor family of wererats driven out of house and home by the encroaching human settlements. "Give generously to stop the ruination of monster culture," read the ad.

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  • I had to suspend the hilarious sense of irony that consumed me, freezing in horror I had to come to terms with the possibility that I had bought brown bread instead of white.

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  • The fibrous brown bread wrestled its way out of my shopping bag and ran for the nearby bus as it was about to stop but before the brown could make I watched as it was attacked by a

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  • middle-aged woman in an apron with a smoke dangling off her hairlip. She smothered and covered the brown bread within an inch of its life. She scattered and diced and peppered and

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  • flipped and fried it, her middle-age cellulite jiggling 'neath her polyester uniform. It was like street theatre, only at Waffle House. When she finished, the brown bread looked SO

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  • brown, it could have been lost in a UPS shipping center. She flicked a hair off the plate with her clammy hand and rang the bell. "Order's up!"

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2 Comments

  1. jaw2ek Jan 23 2013 @ 22:48

    Hey, Noah!

  2. SlimWhitman Jan 24 2013 @ 17:37

    Nice finish too. Brown bread always lands with the buttered side up.

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