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A scarecrow, a lion, and a tin woodsman walk

  • A scarecrow, a lion, and a tin woodsman walk into a bar. The tin woodsman orders a pint of oil, the scarecrow asks for a haymaker, and the lion requests a

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  • freshly slain cow’s rib. Not looking up, the bartender gives the tinman a shot of Jaeger, the scarecrow a right hook that knocks him off the barstool and the lion a Vienna sausage.

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  • Then she walked into the bar, in ruby red high heels, blue checkered slinky dress, carrying a Longaberger basket with a cairn terrier. "Excuse me boys, you seen a wizard anywhere?"

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  • Toto quivered when Dorothy pointed and asked, "Snape, do you know who that is?" "You're kidding, right?" Snape replied. "That's Harry Potter. The most famous celebrity in Equus."

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  • And then Dorothy slumped onto the bench and lit a smoke. "Harry Potter? To hell with that sell-out ass. I'm just a normal person surviving in a magical world. That's much harder

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  • especially when you consider my companions are an overgrown rat, a coward, a quitter, and a dimwit!" Dorothy took a deep drag. "And let me tell you something about that Bella tramp

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  • .I saw Bella sucking on Pluto's spaghetti.Where was the paparazzi on that?!" Dorothy snuffed out her butt with a disgusted wheeze. "I'd prefer the flying monkeys, Mr. Baum,to the

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  • mundane idealism of Disney characters.The flying monkeys are at least symbolic of something - a commentary on evolutionism, perhaps,or a feminist depiction of male dominance." Baum

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  • leapt into the air, grasping for the leg of one of the monkeys. Baum caught its toe, was lifted into the air, and nearly let go as the landscape of potato farms spread out below.

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  • Higher and higher the monkey flew as Baum climbed it's leg and got onto it's back. It's a good thing he was so small, and he managed to hitch a ride for over 300 miles into town.

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