He'd switched careers, moving from programming

  • He'd switched careers, moving from programming to the classroom. He kept having to remind himself that kids were not machines. There was such little logic in what they did.

  • Yet at the same time, in some kind of surprising ways, they often made sense. There was definitely predictability in their actions. For example, some never brought pencils. Ever.

  • Others always needed a sheet of paper. And not just any kind. They needed the lined kind. The college-ruled kind. The kind that would allow them to fit 40 lines of cramped writing.

  • But not me. I liked the pure white space of unlined paper. The space of possibilities. I had no desire to be boxed in to the 40 line mold of mass society. That gig wasn't mine.

  • Because I was a deaf mute serial killer in a wheelchair. I had killed 1,316 living things. 80% were random pets, including a mule. But I have killed a lot of people. No one thinks

  • I have any decency or humanity in me, but I beg to differ. I am not just about the record setting killings. I know how to

  • kill with style, too. Murder always came easily to me. Most killers start off with insects or animals. Not me. I was born to hunt humans. As the saying goes, you can run, but you

  • get winded and then have to sit down. I was a murderer, but a very dumb one. So dumb, in fact, that I

  • tried to stab a man with a switch-blade comb. Instead of killing him, i just styled his chest hair. I won the comb at the fair, i had to throw darts at

  • large farm animals. Except when you hit these creatures they actually LIKE it. When I hit that alpaca I thanked my lucky stars for all the time I spent throwing darts at animals.



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